Don't worry (about the US falling apart), (let's learn to) be happy
Full disclosure, I actively seek out books that blend some aspect of neuropsychology with something less…science-y. I’m not a science person (but after reading “Mindset,” I realize that I probably haven’t thrived in any STEM environment because I’ve labeled myself like that…).
I read “The How of Happiness” by Sonja Lyubomirsky a little over a year ago. Although I’m not opposed (or all that familiar, to be honest) with self-help books, I was in a place where I was miserable, feeling like my emotional wellbeing was ruled by outside forces. And now, in the midst of what feels like the United States is abandoning its values and the platforms we we’ve built this country on are crumbling, I find myself feeling that way again. I often turn to art in order to relieve (and process) stress, but as I contemplated what would be a good intersection between a blog that would be for me as well as useful to others, I thought of Lyubomirsky’s book.
She starts out by sharing her research on what determines happiness: circumstances, your set point, and intentional activity. Now here’s the interesting part: circumstances, which you think would account as the determining factor for how happy you are, only end up accounting for 10%. Your set point, basically your genetic predisposition for happiness, accounts for 50%. That leaves intentional activity making up 40% of your happiness. She explains the science behind this in detail, which I won’t get into, but don’t worry, there’s evidence for this claim.
After presenting this research, she spends the rest of this book detailing 12 activities to boost your happiness.
In no way will my blog be able to capture everything she discusses, especially the research behind why these strategies work so well. When I read this before, I gained a lot just from reading about the activities that I don’t think I intentionally invested a lot of time into completing them. Here they are:
Expressing gratitude
Cultivating optimism
Avoiding overthinking and social comparison
Practicing acts of kindness
Nurturing social relationships
Developing strategies for coping
Learning to forgive
Increasing flow experiences
Savoring life’s joys
Committing to your goals
Practicing religion and spirituality
Taking care of your body
I don’t plan on going in order, because I think there’s a significance in choosing what you’re drawn to that week. But I do plan on talking about how I’m feeling that week before and after the activity, and detailing what the activity is, of course.
An important note: I don’t believe happiness is the point of life, or even the state you should be at all the time. Unpleasant emotions, like sadness or anger, often serve a purpose that happiness cannot. (This quote by the late psychiatrist and author Scott M. Peck explains this much better than I can.) But I think it is empowering to be able to be in charge of your happiness, especially when there is so much going against that in the news. (Unless that’s part of the 10% factor?...I don’t think I’m the only one who would say it feels like so much more.)