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Activity 1: Where I try to combat my current negative stream of all caps COMPLAINING

I chose to go with the first happiness activity this week: practicing gratitude.

I was ready to enter this semester in the best mental and physical health I’ve ever been in, and a few weeks in I got really sick from antibiotics I was taking. I had never been so sick for so long (three days, but still) and ended the week exhausted from so many different medications and doctors appointments.

Then, last night, my entire body started feeling like one huge bruise. It still does. Every part of my body besides my face is sensitive to any touch or movement. I’ve felt this before, but never this extreme. I also feel like I just pulled an all-nighter or two when I’ve been sleeping at least eight or nine hours every night the past week. (After some googling, I think it might be fibromyalgia? These symptoms are weird. If anyone has a guess…please let me know.)

I explain all this because there’s nothing I find more unappealing than complaining or negativity, so the gratitude activity seemed particularly useful right now, as my thought process is currently: WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME? I JUST STARTED TO FEEL BETTER AND I HAVEN’T CAUGHT UP FROM BEING SICK TWO WEEKS AGO AND I JUST WANT TO BE PRODUCTIVE AND NOT IN BED EVEN THOUGH MY BED IS SO COMFORTABLE BUT I DIGRESS I JUST WANT TO FEEL BETTER. Welcome to the inside of my brain, and also my last finsta post!

Lyubomirsky cites eight reasons why practicing gratitude helps boost happiness, which I’ll briefly summarize. With practicing gratitude, you…

  1. savor life’s joys more

  2. strengthen your self-worth and self-esteem

  3. can better cope with stress and trauma

  4. are more likely to engage in moral behavior (like helping others)

  5. help build social bonds (new and old)

  6. compare yourselves to others less

  7. pay less attention to negative emotions (anger, bitterness, greed, etc.)

  8. “help thwart hedonic adaptation.” Hedonic adaptation is adapting quickly to new circumstances when they’re good, and not so much when they’re bad. So, basically, by practicing gratitude you are less likely to take the good things in your life for granted. Makes sense.

She then lists a few different ways to practice gratitude. I’m going to focus on the gratitude journal today, and later in the week, I’ll tackle some other strategies.

How: Dedicate a regular part of the day where you have the time to ponder three to five things you’re grateful for and write them down.

Tip: Her study suggests this activity works best done once a week, but it varies by person.

Another tip: She says it can be particularly helpful to choose one ungrateful thought and replace it with a grateful one.

Me: okay fine I guess I’ll try this even though the outside world is falling apart and now my body is too

My actual journal:

Ungrateful thought: See all caps stream of consciousness, above.

1. But at a time when so many are about to (maybe? who can predict anything) lose their health insurance, I’m so grateful that there’s only been a brief time in my life I didn’t have health insurance. I’m grateful my parents work in industries where that is a component of their benefits. I’m grateful that my health provider is somehow in DC, a few blocks away, when it mainly is in California. I’m grateful it is situated right by Bread & Chocolate so I can get a lil snack afterwards.

2. I’m grateful that I have friends who check up on me when I’m feeling sick and genuinely care if I’m doing alright. I’m grateful that my mom never coddled me as a child, except when I was really sick, so it was understood that you fight and fight, but when you can’t, someone will be there for you.

3. I’m grateful that I have learned to prioritize my mental health through college. Freshman year me didn’t understand that, and I’m so grateful that I’VE had to make it a priority, because it’s helping me understand that I need to prioritize my physical health too.

4. And, perhaps most importantly, I’m grateful that this (whatever “this” is) is what I have to worry about. I haven’t had many physical health issues before, so I’m realizing, as I write this, that I’ve taken my physical health for granted. Having gotten to know people who’ve had much more serious health issues, I’m grateful that this is new for me, because feeling caught off guard by your health is a luxury many don’t have.

Wow. That was a seemingly small activity and has already changed my perspective on this. I still feel very much that this is extremely annoying and a hassle to deal with while recognizing that, big picture, I can be grateful about this too.

Before I go call to make a doctors appointment, here is a meme of me:


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